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Getting Divorced? How To Help Your Children Cope With Your Separation

As professional solicitors in South East London, we offer a range of different legal services. This includes family law, meaning we understand that family issues can be both complicated and distressing – especially for your children. All of our family law solicitors are experienced with dealing with such matters, and we approach every case with complete understanding.

Children are often left feeling sad and confused when they are caught up in their parent’s separation. They often become angry, especially if they believe it’s the fault of one specific parent. Unfortunately, they usually don’t have the full story and you need to remember their emotions are just running high.

As parents, you can make the process a lot less painful for them. We have put together some advice on helping your child(ren) deal with an impending divorce.

Let Your Children Know That They Are Loved

Children often blame themselves for their parents’ divorce, deciding that they must have done something wrong. They think that because one parent is moving out, it must be something they did. It’s essential that you reassure your child that they are loved, and that the separation has nothing to do with them. It can really affect their self-esteem, even at a very young age.

You child needs to realise that it wasn’t the fact they didn’t clean their room or brush their teeth, that caused their mum or dad to move out.

Don’t Bad Mouth Each Other To Them

You might be feeling angry and frustrated by the impending divorce, but you should try hard to not bad mouth each other to your child. This will only make your child more angry and confused, so they should be kept away from all tension. Expecting them to take sides isn’t fair, as it’s still their parent at the end of the day.

You should seek someone else when you want to rant or cry – your children don’t understand. They are still at the age where they think saying sorry will make things better, and you should protect them from as much of the separation as possible.

Tell Them The Truth

Whilst you shouldn’t criticise each other to the children, it’s important that you do tell them what is happening. They need to know that you are splitting up and that it’s a permanent arrangement. Your children should know that it’s okay to ask questions, as it’s definitely a confusing time for them.

You should make them aware that their feelings are important, and that you want to help as much as possible.

Stick To a Normal Routine  

It might seem hard when your whole life is changing, but it’s important that you attempt to try stick to as much as a normal routine as possible. Whether this is going to nursery or school, or attending clubs and visiting friends and family – you should try not change anything.

This will allow your children to see that, even though things are changing at home, everything else is going to be normal for them.

If you are currently experiencing a separation and would like the advice of a qualified professional, or you would like some advice on helping your children deal with the split, please don’t hesitate to contact us here at Archstone Solicitors. You can give us a call on 020 8534 8008 and a member of our team will be happy to arrange an appointment with you.